she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
