Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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