Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
