Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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