Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
