oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
