we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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