So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
