he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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