just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
