I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
