Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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