i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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