I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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