whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
