For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
