Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
