she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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