What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
