Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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