just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
