I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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