you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
