That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
