dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ladies don't puke and tell
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize