This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
