I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
