nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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