I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
