Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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