guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
