He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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