Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
