Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
