am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
