guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
