My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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