the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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