Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dignity is for republicans.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
