no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...