sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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