haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
