Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize