sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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