I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
