I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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