I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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