Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
