This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
