Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
