i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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