I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
