I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
