He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The uberlube is also flammable
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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