You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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