Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
