Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize