Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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