So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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