She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
