Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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